Monday 30 December 2013

The Best Films Of The Year 2013


At the very start of the year I launched my new Letterboxd account, enabling me to keep track of and log every film I viewed in 2013. This invariably spurned me on to indulge my passion for film on a far greater scale, interacting with fellow fans and taking inspiration and recommendations from their comments and reviews. Looking through the list below, I would say it's been a very solid, if not a bona-fide classic year for cinema. Certainly the Summer blockbuster season was particularly underwhelming this year I thought, although this was more than compensated for by a particularly strong showing for both horror and indie-spirited American dramas.

Criteria for inclusion on this rundown of my favourite films of 2013 in the end boiled down to films that were released in UK cinemas for the first time this year and new films which debuted on DVD / Blu-ray which had bypassed UK cinemas. In a change of policy from previously, films available on import discs which had not yet been released in the UK, but were legally available to purchase from overseas, and films that featured in UK film festivals or regional screenings were omitted from my selection process this year, I'll do a separate post (or more likely a Letterboxd list) dedicated to them in the coming days. The full list of all the films I saw in 2013 (both new & old) from which I selected mychoices can be found in my Letterboxd Film Diary 2013.

Despite viewing nearly 300 films this year, the vast majority of which appeared to be new releases, it was as always the case that it's impractical or indeed impossible to see everything in time before the year ends, so while there were a few notable exceptions which appeared on many other end of year 'best of' countdowns, several of these were films I have little or no interest in actually viewing. Such titles would include (in alphabetical order): Before Midnight / Blackfish / Blue Is The Warmest Colour / Blue Jasmine / Behind The Candelabra / Beyond The Hills / Frances Ha / Short Term 12 / The Hunger Games: Catching Fire and a few others. Other releases I didn't catch, and may or may not have impacted on inclusion below in some capacity, were (again in alphabetical order):  47 Ronin / All Is Lost / American Hustle (limited UK release over Christmas) / Anchorman 2 / Big Bad Wolves / In Fear / Nebraska / Philomena / Saving Mr Banks / Stalled / The Counsellor / The Hobbit - The Desolation Of Smaug etc - as many of which as possible I look forward to catching up with next year. So, here then at last is my final list of my favourite films of the year:

THE BEST FILMS OF 2013:


1) ZERO DARK THIRTY
Kathryn Bigelow's exhaustive account of the hunt for Osama bin Laden is one of the finest American movies of the last ten years. Remarkable for its attention to detail and objective docudrama approach to its controversial subject matter. Portrayed through the dogged determination of the superb Jessica Chastain's indelible CIA operative, Maya, obsessively tracking down her man. The tone of the film is one of simmering suppressed emotion building to visceral urgency as she closes in on her prize target.
Devoid of Hollywood cliche or accepted thriller convention - there's no small-talk, sentimentality, romance or needless subplots, this is a film about the minutiae of a manhunt and the strategy of surveillance. A film defined by characterisation, steadfast determination to prevail and intricate extensive methodical procedure, which gives way to a fabulously tense and surgically shot action climax as investigation turns into insurgency. Perhaps the most impressive aspect of Zero Dark Thirty is the decision to have it devoid of jingoism and conventional audience manipulation. This is a non-judgemental film, subdued not celebratory, morally and politically ambiguous, unafraid to let the viewer fill in the blanks and make their own judgements on its eventual outcome. For me, from when I first viewed it in January, right through until the dying days of 2013, this remains the year's very best film.
 
2) CLOUD ATLAS


Cloud Atlas is in many ways a staggering achievement, a film from three different writer / directors with an all-star cast each taking on numerous roles across the spectrum of age, race and even gender, encased in a storyline spanning several hundred years through the past, present and into the distant future. As such this hugely ambitious film is something of a sprawling cinematic conundrum, truly epic in scope, with endless visionary avidity, a real multiplicity of ideas and underlying ideologies each of which come to be unified by the grand theme of freedom via ultimate inter-connecting destinies. Cloud Atlas is rather like watching six films at once, as structurally the various time lines and sagas dart back and forth via seamless editing, although such a concept can be overbearing and almost too much to absorb in a single sitting, as a density of ideas and styles interweave throughout the narrative tapestry. By its very overreaching nature Cloud Atlas is undeniably flawed in places, there's some particularly risible dialogue at times, as well as an over-reliance on pseudo philosophical and theological rambling, which also gets weighed down further at times by mawkish sentimentality. However, if you are willing to overlook such faults, and set aside snobbery, there's the opportunity to be rewarded by a film which is without question a technical, visual and logistical marvel, its cumulative time-spanning stories delivering a rich, rewarding experience. This is the sort of adventurous film that just doesn't get made anymore, a massively high-reaching, risk-taking movie which breaks just about every perceived rule of the modern day blockbuster by being full of ambition, inspiration, originality and artistry.
 
3) GRAVITY
Visually astonishing, technically revolutionary, very much a ground zero film for the true potential of 3D, Gravity was cinema as a genuinely immersive experience and in many ways the not inconsiderable hype surrounding it was entirely justified.
What I still wonder about Gravity though is just how much it relies on its jaw-dropping visual trickery, especially in stunning stereoscopic form? Because without such zero gravity gimmickry, the basic plot is just that.....basic. It really is a very routine and incredibly minimalist survival storyline which piles on the peril thicker than a drag queen's make-up to paper over its narrative shortcomings. Yes there are moments of genuine raw emotional impact here and undeniable nail-gnawing tension at times, but it's not any kind of spoiler to assume that despite their seemingly insurmountable plight everybody doesn't perish. Mainstream Hollywood films just don't work like that. Besides, there's a strong spiritual subtext running throughout and none too subtle visual hints about birth and rebirth (glaringly obvious foetal metaphor anyone?), that outline precisely where this is headed. Even at the film's bleakest, most desperate, most heart-wrenching moment when a single tear floats towards us as the rest of the screen evaporates into fading nothingness, we're still fully aware redemption is on the cards, so the sense of jeopardy remains tempered.
It will be very interesting indeed to watch Gravity again in the near future, on a television, in intimate surroundings, away from the initial hype, excitement and cinema projection theatrics, to see if it holds up on a fundamental dramatic level. But based solely on that single cinema screening in November, Gravity is in many ways a game changer - a technical, artistic and cultural watershed moment in the evolution of movies, which truly encapsulate the pure escapist, immersive and wondrous quality of cinema as an artform.


 
4) CAPTAIN PHILLIPS
From the initial pirate pursuit to the exhilarating boarding sequence, right through to the prolonged white-knuckle hostage siege and its raw, arduous coda, Paul Greengrass is back on pulsating United 93 form here, milking every last drop of nerve-shredding suspense from another traumatic true-life story. Bolstered by arguably a career-best turn from Tom Hanks whose character arc flows from affable everyman with a neat line in resourceful one-upmanship, to the blunt realisation of just how out of his depth, vulnerable and perilous his plight has become. Matching him stride for stride is an astonishing debut performance from Barkhad Abdi as the head of the Somali pirates who acts as a perfect counterfoil, two starkly contrasting captains literally a world apart.
The film's strength is in humanising the pirates, not merely villainous Hollywood ciphers, portrayed here with even-handed balance and background. These are men who through poverty, circumstance and corruption are as much victims as the crew they hold captive. Two markedly different worlds and lifestyles clashing against a backdrop of international commerce and globalisation, pawns in a far bigger game. Yet for all its socio-economic subtext and docudrama realism, Captain Phillips at its core is just a brilliantly constructed edge of your seat thriller, with mesmerising performances, and spiralling nail-chomping tension, courtesy of the best action director at work today at the very top of his game.
 
5) ONLY GOD FORGIVES


When one of the first lines of dialogue in a film is a pivotal character demanding to "fuck a fourteen year old", you know Nicolas Winding Refn is being wilfully confrontational, delivering an intentionally obtuse and abrasively noncommercial movie, a truculent rebuttal to those hoping for more of the crossover appeal of his previous offering Drive. What we get instead is a film that in many ways is deliberately abstract and devoid of warmth, happy to revel in a transcendent neon cocktail of simmering sleaze and unflinching brutality. This is a film where every character is essentially hideously unpleasant or at best deeply flawed, Ryan Gosling goes for icy detachment to the point of being somnambulant, but somehow remains cooler than an ice sculpture of James Dean, even when Refn delights in subverting and emasculating his screen persona in the film's crucial fight scene. As impressive as Vithaya Pansringarm is as the shark-like avenging angel (or Devil maybe?) Chang, it is the revelatory performance of Kristin Scott Thomas as the malevolent matriarch who dominates proceedings, with her explicit venomous tirades and jarringly perverse musings.
Whilst there's no denying the aesthetic overload of the film, it's beautifully filmed, a simmering nocturne dream shot in sultry shades with a haunting soundtrack, mood and atmosphere more of a consideration than conventional plot or pacing, and whilst it may be more profane than profound, it's certainly not guilty of the crime of style over substance many have suggested. It's an unaplogetically artistic film, one that has nods to everything from David Lynch to The Searchers, a movie dedicated to Alejandro Jodorowsky and containing the most magnificently mental final reel since Holy Motors. Drive 2 this definitely was not. One of the year's most daring, experimental, provocative and stimulating films it most certainly was.

6) JOHN DIES AT THE END
Don Coscarelli makes a further claim to being one of the most interesting and under-appreciated filmmakers working today. That through various trials, tribulations and lack of studio support it has taken him ten years to follow up the sublime Bubba Ho-Tep is a travesty. That his new film John Dies At The End based on another slice of revered cult fiction is every bit as imaginative, ingenious and idiosyncratic is a revelation. A film that is seriously out to (naked) lunch, this fever dream freewheelin' fantasy is a heroic heady mix of inebriated ideas and insanity, a hypnagogic hit of Fear And Loathing, Monty Python, William S Burroughs, Bill & Ted, Supernatural and the frenzied weirdness of the Phantasm series.
More mad incident and deranged invention takes place within the first fifteen minutes of this film than most genre pictures can muster throughout their entire duration. Whilst ambition might exceed budget at times, this movie constantly subverts perspective and perception with surreal tongue in cheek mirth, there's a knowing quirkiness coursing through the very fabric of the insanity, yet it manages to deftly stay just the right side of self-aware smugness. Some feat for a movie that includes scenes of people being attacked by flying malevolent moustaches, hot dogs being used as communication devices to another realm, and visits to crazed alternate dimensions that mirror Eyes Wide Shut. I absolutely loved every last minute of this mind-bending madness.


 
7) MUD
Mud is a sumptuous Southern rites of passage fable, rich in character and detail, beautifully capturing the fragility and complexity of trust, family and companionship. It’s a film with an ethereal, vintage sensibility, so evocative of its time and place, a film that ebbs and flows like the Arkansas tidal estuary it is based around. A masterful blend of emotive coming of age drama, bittersweet mystery and compelling crime thriller. It’s a slice of arresting, authentic Americana, which for me betters both The Place Beyond The Pines and Ain't Them Bodies Saints, great though they both were, emerging as the finest film of its type this year. Matthew McConaughey, for so long treading water in run of the mill rom-coms, is compelling as the titular Mud, his renaissance as a magnetic screen presence continuing after his equally solid star turns in The Paperboy and Killer Joe, but he’s matched all the way here by the marvellously naturalistic and accomplished performances from his two young co-stars, Tye Sheridan and Jacob Lofland. Throw in more heavyweight support from Reese Witherspoon in a sort of tragic faux femme fatale role, the ever-dependable Sam Shepard and an underused Michael Shannon, all on tip-top form, to add to the general aura of quality and style of the production. The only time the film derails slightly is with its rather orthodox insistence of adhering to traditional thriller conventions towards the end, but otherwise this is one of the finest American films of the year and confirms Jeff Nichols as one of the most important and talented filmmakers of his generation.
 
8) GOOD VIBRATIONS

Evocative, uplifting, buzzing with maverick energy, this brilliant biopic of Irish music mogul Terri Hooley proved to be the biggest surprise of the year. Set amid the chaos and carnage of 1970's Belfast, it tells the rather naive rise of the man who through enthusiasm and stubbornness created his own mini musical empire more by accident than any grand design. Starting off with a ramshackle record store and moving onto his own DIY record label and reluctant role as band promoter, he was instrumental in the birth of the Belfast punk scene and the man who sent The Undertones on their road to stardom.
Perfectly capturing the conflict and confusion of the period, this isn't some sugar-coated rags to riches fable, it remains grounded in gritty reality and nostalgic authenticity. With a superb central performance by Richard Dormer, and a sizzling soundtrack which not only features the Good Vibrations bands, but a whole range of fantastic tracks including Stiff Little Fingers' classic Alternative Ulster and the sublime Dream Baby Dream by Suicide, this is an inspirational, rousing, life-affirming film which proves the overwhelming power of music as a unifying force in the face of horrific division and distrust. Magical.
 
9) THE KINGS OF SUMMER
Enchanting, whimsical, laugh out loud funny, The Kings Of Summer is a rare subtle teen movie which beautifully captures the clumsy awkwardness, confusion, conflict and complexity of youth. Friendships and fledgling relationships are formed and fractured, as three teenage friends escape the grim regime of parental control, setting off into the leafy wilds for a rebellious attempt at independence.
With rich characterisation and charming performances, director Jordan Vogt-Roberts' feature debut is a winning combination of feelgood nostalgia and razor-sharp acerbic wit. Standouts are Nick Offerman as the grouchy father of one of the teenage runaways, displaying a brilliant line in caustic humour and brutally blunt put downs. Moises Aries as that weird kid every school seems to have, and who just sort of randomly tags along uninvited, is an equally inspired comic character, with his miserable attempts at wilderness camouflage and the baffling inability to differentiate between cystic fibrosis and homosexuality. Such quirkiness is a major part of this film's considerable charm and charisma. The Kings Of Summer is a sumptuous slice of affectionate Americana, a joyful coming of age drama, uplifting, warmhearted and alluringly evocative of those sun-drenched golden summer days of childhood. 


10) WE ARE WHAT WE ARE
Jim Mickle's We Are What We Are is a lyrical, melancholic slice of pastoral American Gothic infused with a solemn tragic tone. What's more, it's actually a rare example of a remake which surpasses the movie it is based upon - the 2010 Mexican movie of the same name.
Tweaking the basic plot and characters of the original, to the point of a total gender role reversal, but maintaining all the underlying grimness and macabre menace, Mickle's re-imagining is a masterpiece of ominous mood, heavy with a pervading sense of unease and a dark portentous aura hovering over proceedings like the Grim Reaper's shadow. It's also a strangely moving film, one which doesn't paint its protagonists in easy to pigeon-hole blacks and whites, regardless of the often hideous nature of their activities. Here's a film that works on many different levels from emotionally impactful drama to religious parable and of course fundamentally a grisly and morbid horror movie, but handled throughout with a rare maturity, intelligence and powerful pathos, unfurling like a twisted fairytale of faith, family and feasting on forbidden flesh. In a particularly strong year for horror cinema, this was right at the top of the pile.

THE BEST OF THE REST: 

 


11) BYZANTIUM
12) STOKER
13) AIN’T THEM BODIES SAINTS
14) PRISONERS
15) WARM BODIES
16) SIDE EFFECTS
17) THE WORLD’S END
18) NO ONE LIVES
19) MANIAC
20) STAR TREK – INTO DARKNESS
21) RUSH
22) SLEEP TIGHT
23) ALAN PARTRIDGE – ALPHA PAPA
24) A FIELD IN ENGLAND
25) DJANGO UNCHAINED
26) THE PLACE BEYOND THE PINES
27) HERE COMES THE DEVIL
28) YOU’RE NEXT
29) THE ACT OF KILLING
30) THE LOOK OF LOVE
31) FILTH
32) ROBOT AND FRANK
33) McCULLIN
34) 2 GUNS
35) TWIXT
36) ANTIVIRAL
37) IRON MAN 3
38) EVIL DEAD
39) THE LAST STAND
40) SOUND CITY.

The Worst Films Of The Year 2013


I managed to avoid a lot of the more celebrated cinematic clunkers this year, a bit like metaphorically sidestepping dog turds on the pavement. So I'm pleased to say I can only imagine the unspeakable toe-curling horrors and brain-damaging inanity I swerved by giving a wide berth to the likes of: Movie 43, Grown Ups 2, Scary Movie V, The Big Wedding, 21 And Over, Run For Your Wife, Bula Quo and Diana. But alas, it's always the case there's still plenty of celluloid swill I had to endure, the following pitiful selection are the very worst offenders, and not a single film listed below was awarded more than a derisory two stars from me on Letterboxd this year:

THE WORST FILMS OF 2013:


1) PAIN AND GAIN
By some distance the very worst film I saw all year, the only reason I awarded this hideous, hateful hatchet-job of a film a solitary 1/2 on Letterboxd was because that site shamefully doesn't have the facility to award zero marks. In so many ways I feel horribly cheated! 
Pain & Gain is the very worst of Michael Bay's vulgar excesses on super-strength steroids. A garish, grating, gruesome (in every sense) farce, which in the deft hands of the Coen Brothers might possibly have been a blackly comedic crime caper with a moral conscience. Instead Bay handles the material with all the subtlety and finesse of a rampaging rhino high on PCP wielding a hefty sledgehammer. It's loud, lewd, over-stylised, cynical and monumentally crass. It's shameful enough Bay trivialises a tragic true story of kidnap, torture and murder via vapid visuals and puerile slapstick, but he does so in such a vile, venal, completely unpalatable manner it truly beggars belief. Here's a film that is so crude, shockingly misjudged and staggeringly dumb that it would insult the intelligence of particularly dim-witted plankton. Bay has been accused of cinematic hate-crimes in the past, but here he goes all out to offend and discriminate without the slightest hint of irony or satire. Pain And Gain is beyond tasteless given its real crime background, wallowing in an open cesspit of racist, sexist, homophobic, toilet humour. It's a film that rages with barely disguised contempt for its audience, a movie every bit as meat-headed and incompetent as its intellectually-challenged protagonists. And as for those protagonists it's quite some feat to make usually charismatic stars like Wahlberg and Johnson so deeply repellent, although this is surely a by-product of Bay's moronic insistence on turning everything up to eleven like an overactive infant with a sugar rush, rather than through any palpable directorial skill or artistry. Utter gutter cinema.

2) I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE 2

Well, in the great pantheon of pointless, unwanted sequels, here's a non-theatrical follow-up to a largely worthless remake of an infamously grotty 1970's grindhouse nasty. I Spit On Your Grave 2 is a vile, repugnant, barrel-scraping exercise in sadism and suffering in the fallacious guise of female-empowerment and cack-handed catharsis. It's the same rape/revenge template as previously, but now with extra humiliation, torture and freshly added Hostel-patented xenophobia. Upping the ante with its brutality and cruelty in both the rape and revenge departments, this is a film which has such a hateful misanthropic worldview, a hollow sordid soulless void, where Biblical inspired psychotic vengeance is celebrated almost as much as the lip-licking misogyny and leering barbarism which precedes it. Lowest common denominator garbage then for fans of genital mutilation and long forgotten British soap stars clearly desperate for a gig.

3) UFO (aka ALIEN UPRISING)
You have to admire the ambition of director Dominic Burns, attempting a mash-up of Independence Day, Skyline and District 9 on the budget of your average 'You've Been Framed' entry. Unfortunately the lack of funds, coupled with a script that largely seems to be a mechanism to link together various punch-ups, arguments and baffling flash-backs / flash-forwards, helps fashion a film that is by turns incoherent, ugly, bizarrely edited and awash with repellent characters. Still, for all its multitude of faults I suppose it's not everyday you get to see an alien invasion film set in a Derbyshire housing estate and briefly featuring Jean Claude Van Damme...........although that's not any sort of recommendation you understand!

4) UPSTREAM COLOR 

One of the great joys of cinema is experiencing the way certain films connect with you on a personal, intellectual or emotional level. For many Upstream Color is one of the year's most cerebral, challenging and striking pictures. As far as I'm concerned however, it's a movie that simply washed over me, its popularity and endless five star appraisals simply baffled me, its enigmatic appeal utterly eluded me. Frankly, it was like I was watching a completely different film to everybody else.
I'm afraid, for me, Upstream Color is like a jigsaw with wrong and missing pieces, it just doesn't fit together and ultimately becomes a fruitless and pointless challenge. It's like a bad student film, all terribly earnest, sterile, and yes....completely tedious. I had absolutely no emotional connection with anybody involved, nor the slightest interest in where the meandering, angular plot eventually wound its way towards. The opening segment with its sinister Cronenbergian mad science parasitic vibes, was initially intriguing, but once the psychic pig came on board, not only had this film high-jumped the shark, it had disappeared so far up its own arse, it had virtually turned itself inside out, and was actually becoming a real chore to make it to the end of. I have no problem whatsoever with movies devoid of traditional linear or narrative structure, I enjoy a cinematic conundrum as much as the next film fan, but for me this film wasn't any kind of mental challenge or intricate bamboozlement, it was just terminally dull, abstract chinstroker toss of the very worst variety. It's bewilderingly overrated pseudo-intellectual wank. It's a cautionary tale about the perils of ingesting maggots....or something. It's The Emperor's New Clothes from the racks at Matalan. It's one of the very worst and most insanely overrated films of the year.

5) TEXAS CHAINSAW 3D
From the very start of the year came this - the latest pointless attempt at defiling the memory of Tobe Hooper's seminal horror classic, which manages to not only be the dumbest entry in this series, but is further scuppered by being presented in entirely redundant 3D. Yet again modern filmmakers entirely miss the essence of what makes the original film and its masked monstrosity so utterly terrifying by conjuring up an inane and unbelievable back-story and attempting to draw audience sympathy to the plight of the chainsaw wielding psychopath by introducing some utterly moronic and implausible family bonding. Dim-witted, ugly and dispassionate - that's the film, not Leatherface (or Jed as he's really called....I shit you not!), this is an entirely idiotic and irrelevant cash-in, and needless to say, the scariest thing about it is the depressing fact that a follow-up has already been touted.

6) THE BLING RING

The Bling Ring is a superficial satire employing selfie-obsessed vapid teen culture to condemn the shallowness of celebrity. It's a film every bit as vacuous as its air headed brattish protagonists whose pursuit of vulgar consumerism and gaudy glamour is basically portrayed by endlessly repetitive scenes of designer clothes and tacky trinkets which is like being trapped inside some hideous, endlessly looping shopping channel targeted at tasteless morons. As a satire on the vapidity of fame and fortune, and the moral malaise of youth, it's about as biting as a toothless flea with intimacy issues. To be honest, I found every single person involved so deeply annoying and unlikeable I was hoping they'd all get shot in the face by some trigger-happy neighbourhood watch guard as they went about their brain dead burglary spree.
A film with absolutely nothing to say other than the rich and famous are dumb and people who aspire to their lifestyle are even dumber, this somehow actually makes Spring Breakers appear deep and profound.

7) HOLLOW
I must confess I was initially intrigued by this low budget British found footage fable because I know the area where it was shot really well - a region rife with fascinating local legends and macabre myths. Unfortunately the film itself tends to just use its Suffolk backdrop (the ancient coastal area around Dunwich and Leiston) as a casual afterthought, spending much of its turgid duration as a dour relationship drama between two young couples holidaying in the region, who just happen to randomly stumble across sinister secrets from the past. I found these four leads intensely irksome and unsympathetic, the breakdown and bickering of their group dynamic a real endurance test. Added to this the desperately uninspired way the video documentation of their story was shoe-horned in, and all goodwill to this project rapidly diminished. When the so-called horror element finally kicks in via a few moderately creepy scenes of spooky hooded figures and shadowy threats in the pitch black rural night, it's all a bit too little too late as frankly the coked-up cretins couldn't die soon enough as far as I was concerned! 

8) THE FRANKENSTEIN THEORY


More thoroughly uninspired and derivative found footage folly, which attempts to breath new life into the classic Frankenstein story by suggesting it was all factual rather than fictional. Whilst at times this mirrors the plot of Trollhunter, that's where all similarities end with that particular modern classic of this increasingly haggard sub-genre. Instead, The Frankenstein Theory spends much of its dull, dragging duration with our pitiful protagonists cowering in a remote ramshackle shed, isolated and alone, whimpering and bickering about scary noises from outside. Should really be retitled The Frankenstein Dreary.

9) AFTERSHOCK
Aftershock the latest Eli Roth offering to get a UK release this year (he wrote, produced and stars) is lewd, crude, tasteless, and relentlessly piles on the misery. Think The Impossible with added rape, murder and mutilation and you get the general grubby vibe. It's a sort of disaster movie infused with the xenophobic paranoia and cynical nastiness of the Hostel films, affording lots of low-brow, grimly misogynist scenes of suffering and sadism, which is tawdry, tacky and technically inept. The first act is cringe-worthy travelogue with Roth and his creepy middle-aged mates hitting on girls young enough to be their daughters, the remainder an increasingly desperate attempt at misanthropic shock tactics and debasement. Grim in every sense. 

10) AFTER EARTH
After Earth is an ill-conceived and idiotic vanity project by the Smith dynasty, clearly intended to raise Smith Jnr's profile, yet his morose, charisma-free performance matches the dreary, nonsensical sci-fi slog he finds himself trapped in. After Earth is not only monumentally dumb and devoid of logic or impact, but it's just boring as hell with it. There's a scene early on in the exposition heavy prologue where mankind is colonising a new planet and Will Smith is hacking genetically engineered creatures to pieces as spaceships hurtle around in the alien background..........that's the film I wanted to see, not the turgid interplanetary trek dumped upon us instead. Surely the final nail in Shyamalan's career coffin?

WORST OF THE REST: 
 

11) SHARKNADO
12) ALL SUPERHEROES MUST DIE
13) RED DAWN
14) A GOOD DAY TO DIE HARD
15) COMMUNITY
16) GETAWAY
17) THE VATICAN EXORCISMS
18) G.I.JOE - RETALIATION
19) INSIDIOUS CHAPTER 2
20) FRIGHT NIGHT 2: NEW BLOOD.


WORST ACTION FILM: A GOOD DAY TO DIE HARD

WORST HORROR FILM: I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE 2

WORST COMEDY: PAIN AND GAIN

WORST SCIENCE-FICTION / FANTASY: AFTER EARTH

WORST SPECIAL FX: SHARKNADO

WORST SCREENPLAY: PAIN AND GAIN

WORST DIRECTOR: MICHAEL BAY  (PAIN AND GAIN)

WORST ACTRESS: BIANCA BREE (UFO aka ALIEN UPRISING)

WORST ACTOR: JOHN TRAVOLTA (KILLING SEASON)

2013'S BIGGEST LETDOWN WHICH SHOULD’VE BEEN GREAT BUT REALLY WASN’T: PACIFIC RIM.
 

Records Of The Year 2013


2013 proved to be a really strong year for music, from both familiar and thoroughly unlikely sources. It was a year that saw several unexpected returns – David Bowie kicked things off in surprising fashion, unleashing his first new material in a decade, somehow managing to elude absolutely everybody in this modern social networking era, whilst My Bloody Valentine finally delivered their follow-up to Loveless, a mere twenty two years after the event! Meanwhile, over on planet plastic pop controversy-chasing starlets were spearheading a movement seemingly hell-bent on turning the pop promo video into the pop porno video..…if that is you believed some of the more delusional drivel being spouted by the most easily offended and least capable thinkers of our era (including a couple of notable reactionary 80’s has-beens), whilst the year’s biggest selling single was more rape than rap, seemingly further eroding public decency in the process. The fickle nature of the modern music industry continues to be influenced by mainstream trash such as The X-Factor and its hideous contemporaries, spewing out here today, gone tomorrow, karaoke-bellowing clones, whose careers thankfully seem to implode after one hyped hit single and an ill-advised Twitter tirade. Among more credible musicians however, it was a year of innovation and experimentation, Daft Punk returned and brought glittering mirror ball-adorned disco fever along with them; Arcade Fire similarly threw some uncharacteristic shapes and went all dance crazy, unleashing an ambitious double-album which saw their trademark orchestral anthems largely forsaken in favour of infectious electronica, a move similarly attempted by The Strokes whose taster for their latest album was more 80’s synth pop than scuzzy 70’s New York noise. Here then, is my annual list of favourite musical moments from the past year: 

THE BEST ALBUMS OF 2013:

 

1) FRANK TURNER – TAPE DECK HEART 
Frank Turner’s fifth solo record may not be reinventing the wheel musically, it may not be as experimental or innovative or as challenging as many other releases this year, it may not be cool or contemporary enough for scenesters and tastemakers to make its way onto many other end of year ‘Best Of’ lists, but for me Tape Deck Heart is 2013’s finest collection of actual songs. Songs about life, love, loss, regret, passion……real heartfelt tangible emotions. It’s an incredibly candid, caustic and cathartic collection. On the surface it’s a bittersweet break-up album with the emphasis on bitter, but it has so much more texture to it than the initial raw emotions of lost love and fucked up relationships. It’s a record of biting self-deprecating humour, about the falsehoods and fallacy of rock n’ roll, it’s poignant, reflective, yet somehow celebratory and nostalgic, it’s truly self-loathing hate rock you can dance to with a smile on your face and a tear in your eye. It’s ultimately a selection of captivating songs about mental, emotional and physical scars. It’s simply all about the tell tale signs.

2) THE NATIONAL – TROUBLE WILL FIND ME 


The National’s last album, 2010’s sublime High Violet, was the record that finally saw them shed rock’s best kept secret tag and achieve long overdue mainstream success, it also happens to be one of my ‘Top 10’ albums of the last decade. So quite the benchmark set for this eagerly anticipated follow-up. Trouble Will Find Me is an altogether more solemn, seductive, contemplative collection of songs - less immediate, more multi-layered, beautiful in their bleakness, passionate in their despair and desolation. It’s a record haunted by loss and uncertainty, a poetic, mature, melancholic masterpiece, devoid of theatrics, but awash with soul and emotion. 

3) DEAFHEAVEN – SUNBATHER 
Sunbather is not only 2013’s best reviewed album overall, featuring high up on end of year countdowns from media sources covering all genres of music, it’s also the first metal album to reach the top spot in Metacritic’s end of year rankings and fact fans…..it’s actually the seventh highest-scoring album in their entire database. Californian noise-mongers Deafheaven’s second album is simply unlike anything else released all year. Heavier than a pregnant brontosaurus in concrete waders, it’s a hugely ambitious and overwhelming cocktail of thunderous post-rock, black metal blast beats and raw blood-curdling primal vocals, which then dreamily drift off on some shimmering shoe-gazing journey into gossamer ambience. Spoken word passages form and fade amongst the vastly dramatic widescreen soundscapes, assaulting the senses with an enveloping wall of noise……..in fact more like a sonic wall of death, with a rocket powered superbike roaring around towards oblivion and beyond. 

4) DAVE HAUSE – DEVOUR 


What initially started off as The Loved Ones third album, eventually evolved into frontman Dave Hause’s second solo outing. The follow-up to the criminally underrated Resolutions is a fantastically accomplished collection of classic blue-collar heartland rock songs. Inhabiting a middle ground between punk, Americana and acoustic folk, this record clearly draws comparisons with both Bruce Springsteen and Dave’s frequent tour mates The Gaslight Anthem. Devour is a fine collection of honest, heart on sleeve lyrical anthems, perfectly suited to Hause’s raw, emotionally wrought, frequently sorrowful vocal style, never more evident than in the stirring ‘The Great Depression’, one of the finest songs released this year. 

5) ARCADE FIRE – REFLEKTOR 
After the considerable commercial and critical success of 2010’s masterful The Suburbs, it was something of a gamble for alt-rock’s biggest band to unleash a double album which largely shied away from their customary cathedral of sound - huge soaring, spiritual, communal anthems cast aside in favour of dancier, edgier, more experimental electronica, all fused with a daunting soundclash of styles and influences from The Clash patented dub beats to celestial spaced-out symphonies. It’s a brave, bold, brilliant record, which reveals more with each subsequent listen, yet retains the band’s core avant-garde appeal without embarking on a complete Kid A type musical U-turn.

6) JONATHAN WILSON – FANFARE 


Fanfare is best described as a West coast symphony, a smooth, soothing, summery selection of songs that float around your head like a warm Pacific breeze. You can almost reach out and grasp the Laurel Canyon vibes, it’s like flicking through the well-thumbed pages of the great American songbook, a greatest hits package of Jackson Browne, Dennis Wilson, Santana, Crosby Stills Nash & Young - several of whom coincidentally guest on this blissful record. An ornate and immaculately engineered collection of familiar, fragile, laid-back love letters to California dreaming.

7) MIDLAKE – ANTIPHON 
Former singer/songwriter Tim Smith must be kicking himself, for the moment he leaves the band, they go and unveil their fourth full-length release, which is easily their most accomplished album to date. Feeling fresh, invigorated, and unburdened by previous artistic shackles, the band erupts in a swirling psychedelic synth-laden pseudo-prog swoon and lush expansive alt-folk harmonies. An album of inspiration, freedom and creative urges realised.  

8) NINE INCH NAILS – HESITATION MARKS 

After a five year hiatus when main man Trent Reznor had essentially called it a day for his industrial rock pioneers whilst he expanded his musical legacy into ever more adventurous and ambitious avenues, including a bout of Oscar-winning soundtrack assembly for David Fincher, the return of Nine Inch Nails was always going to be a bit of a gamble – a possible creative and artistic about turn. Fortunately, the absence hasn’t dulled Reznor’s uncompromising, paranoid, sociopathic worldview. Hesitation Marks more than lives up to the band’s past legacy, it’s not an evolution or re-invention of the formula, but an assertion of what made them so essential in the first place. Anger remains an energy it seems, the trademark scarred vocals, snarling, spitting, scattershot guitars raging in a technological maelstrom of looping, brooding synths and robotic insurgency, all still firmly in evidence, and yet amongst all the angst and menace there’s the uncharacteristically optimistic and upbeat ‘Everything’, perhaps proof that Reznor has maybe mellowed just a little during the intervening years. 

9) DAFT PUNK – RANDOM ACCESS MEMORIES 
As far as career revivals go this is a masterstroke. Eight years since their last studio album (with only 2010’s Tron - Legacy soundtrack in the interim period), Daft Punk return to the fold with their most personal, ambitious and indeed…..finest album to date. Random Access Memories moves away from their anime influenced sci-fi stylings and presents itself as a luxuriant concept album that both deconstructs and evolves dance music in a collaboration-heavy celebration of the duo’s inspirations and idols. It’s a stardust-adorned celebration of insistent rhythm and disco energy, a glowing tribute to dance pioneers like Giorgio Moroder and Nile Rodgers. A creative cornucopia of electro, jazz, funk and soul, nostalgic yet still cool and contemporary, it redefines the genre, but with one foot firmly rooted in the past, exposing the humanity beneath their robotic exterior. Besides, how can you not love a record that pays warm homage to The Phantom Of The Paradise? 

10) THE BRONX – IV 
Their first album proper for five years, since when they’ve been concentrating on their enigmatic Mariachi spin-off project, sees L.A.’s The Bronx return with a newfound maturity and willingness to evolve and expand their trademark muscular sound. Whilst most of their previous hardcore edges have been shaved off, there’s still evidence of their earlier feral punk swagger, but tempered here by a more melodic hook-laden musicality, even expanding to the restraint and reflection of one of my favourite songs of the year - ‘Life Less Ordinary’ where frontman Matt Caughthran’s raspy vocal reveals a raw, ragged, soulful fragility.

THE BEST OF THE REST:

11) BOYSETSFIRE – WHILE A NATION SLEEPS
12) HAIM – DAYS ARE GONE
13) DAVID BOWIE – THE NEXT DAY
14) DEAF HAVANA – OLD SOULS
15) OLD MAN MARKLEY – DOWN SIDE UP
16) LETLIVE – THE BLACKEST BEAUTIFUL
17) OFF WITH THEIR HEADS – HOME
18) BLACK REBEL MOTORCYCLE CLUB – SPECTER AT THE FEAST
19) QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE – LIKE CLOCKWORK
20) JOHN GRANT – PALE GREEN GHOSTS
21) AFI – BURIALS
22) THE FLATLINERS – DEAD LANGUAGE
23) RIVAL SCHOOLS – FOUND
24) FRIGHTENED RABBIT – PEDESTRIAN VERSE
25) ARCTIC MONKEYS – AM
26) BLACK SABBATH – 13
27) ALKALINE TRIO – MY SHAME IS TRUE
28) BOARDS OF CANADA – TOMORROW’S HARVEST
29) TOUCHE AMORE – IS SURVIVED BY
30) KVELERTAK – MEIR
31) MOBY – INNOCENTS
32) KURT VILE – WAKIN ON A PRETTY DAZE
33) THE STROKES – COMEDOWN MACHINE
34) PUBLIC SERVICE BROADCASTING – INFORM EDUCATE ENTERTAIN
35) VARIOUS ARTISTS – THE SONGS OF TONY SLY
36) MANIC STREET PREACHERS – REWIND THE FILM
37) LONDON GRAMMAR – IF YOU WAIT
38) TRIVIUM – VENGEANCE FALLS
39) JAMES BLAKE – OVERGROWN
40) KINGS OF LEON – MECHANICAL BULL
41) JIMMY EAT WORLD – DAMAGE
42) FOALS – HOLY FIRE
43) MILES KANE – DON’T FORGET WHO YOU ARE
44) PEARL JAM – LIGHTNING BOLT
45) THE 1975 – THE 1975
46) ED KOWALCZYK – THE FLOOD AND THE MERCY
47) PARAMORE – PARAMORE
48) THE STRYPES – SNAPSHOT
49) TIRED PONY – THE GHOST OF THE MOUNTAIN
50) ALICE IN CHAINS – THE DEVIL PUT DINOSAURS HERE

THE BEST TRACKS OF 2013:



1) DEAF HAVANA – BOSTON SQUARE 
Some might scoff at the prospect of a young British band from deepest, darkest Norfolk (the rock cities of King’s Lynn & Hunstanton!) releasing a song that is such a stirring, sweeping, anthemic slice of open road Americana that when I first heard its opening chords on the radio I genuinely thought it was classic era E Street Band blasting away at full throttle. It’s a gloriously catchy, immaculately constructed swathe of widescreen emotive rock & roll, modern but somehow timeless, it’s a song that was the soundtrack to my summer, and it’s a song that in an ideal world would propel them to international stardom. 

2) FRANK TURNER – POLAROID PICTURE
3) LONDON GRAMMAR – STRONG
4) JOHN NEWMAN – LOVE ME AGAIN
5) QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE – MY GOD IS THE SUN
6) THE BRONX – LIFE LESS ORDINARY
7) BASTILLE – POMPEII
8) DAVE HAUSE – THE GREAT DEPRESSION
9) JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE – MIRRORS
10) LORDE – ROYALS
11) DAFT PUNK – GET LUCKY
12) FRANK TURNER – TELL TALE SIGNS
13) JOHN GRANT – GMF
14) DAVID BOWIE – WHERE ARE WE NOW
15) HAIM – FOREVER
16) KINGS OF LEON – SUPERSOAKER
17) ARCADE FIRE – REFLEKTOR
18) ARCTIC MONKEYS – DO I WANNA KNOW
19) FRANK TURNER – OH BROTHER
20) DAVE HAUSE – AUTISM VACCINE BLUES
21) MILEY CYRUS – WRECKING BALL
22) BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN – DREAM BABY DREAM
23) NINE INCH NAILS – EVERYTHING
24) AFI – 17 CRIMES
25) MOBY & WAYNE COYNE – THE PERFECT LIFE
26) FRANK TURNER – THE WAY I TEND TO BE
27) DEAFHEAVEN – DREAM HOUSE
28) THE NATIONAL – PINK RABBITS
29) LONELY THE BRAVE – BACKROADS
30) THE 1975 – SEX
31) THE ORWELLS – OTHER VOICES
32) ARCTIC MONKEYS – R U MINE?
33) THE NATIONAL – DEMONS
34) FOALS – MY NUMBER
35) HAIM – FALLING
36) JAKE BUGG – WHAT DOESN’T KILL YOU
37) THE 1975 – CHOCOLATE
38) KURT VILE – WAKIN’ ON A PRETTY DAY
39) THE STRYPES – BLUE COLLAR JANE
40) JAMES BLAKE – RETROGRADE
41) KNIFE PARTY – EDM DEATH MACHINE
42) BLACK STAR RIDERS – BOUND FOR GLORY
43) THE KILLERS – SHOT AT THE NIGHT
44) FIDLAR – AWKWARD
45) ALKALINE TRIO – SHE LIED TO THE FBI
46) ATOMS FOR PEACE – INGENUE
47) JD McPHERSON – DIMES FOR NICKELS
48) BRING ME THE HORIZON – SHADOW MOSES
49) CEREBRAL BALLZY – BE YOUR TOY
50) NINE INCH NAILS – CAME BACK HAUNTED.



NOTE:  As I write this, the latest Bruce Springsteen album ‘High Hopes’ has been rush-released (and subsequently withdrawn again!) ahead of its previously scheduled January 2014 debut, seemingly in an attempt to counter online leaks. It is therefore hypothetically eligible for inclusion on this list I suppose, but as I didn’t get the chance to hear it, I’ve decided to count it as a 2014 release as was originally intended, and see if it makes the countdown around this time next year.